I am not gay, but I do have quite a few gay friends. I am not white, but I do have quite a few white friends. I am not a Jehovah’s Witness, but I have quite a few Witness friends. I am not a woman, but I do have quite a few female friends. The only thing they all have in common is that we are all cool with eachother, regardless.
I had to say all that to put my personal preferences in a proper perspective. If anything, I am very xenophilic. I love different. Because I am different. Sameness annoys me. The status quo puts me to sleep. I don’t have gay friends because they’re gay, any more than I have white friends just because they’re white. I can’t seem to get my fellow straights on board with my perspective, I can always tell by “the look” I get. “Hangin out with the gays again?” sounds just as odd when I hear my white’s friend’s parents ask “Are you going out with that colored kid again?” back in high school. My back hairs spike. Like Brandy’s when she’s really annoyed.
I hang out with the gays not so much as a sexual preference, it’s more like a cultural preference. Back in the day it was the ARC theatre arts group. No, it wasn’t a gay club, but I swear I was the only straight guy at the wrap parties. And the Townhouse crowd. Cheap booze and everybody is having a good time. Bartender dressed in drag giving out relationship advice is just a bonus. Now it’s the Merc and maybe the occasional cameo at Faces. But all my friends are characters. Not because they’re gay, but because they’re total characters! It wouldn’t edge me either way if any of them decided to turn straight, go back in the closet or be any gayer than they already are. The only ones that bug me are the ones that feel they have to “act” gay. But that’s just as annoying as any of my black friends who feel they need to “act” black when we’re in public. No matter what or who they are, my cool friends know who they really are. They don’t wear their personas like a cheap Halloween mask, they wear their personas like comfortable clothes that give them strength.
It’s funny to me. I had to explain to my black friends back in Kinston why I had white friends. Mostly to deaf ears. Nearly a generation later, I’m substituting “caucasian” for “homosexual”. It’s embarrassing.
So I don’t expect people to understand why I support gay marriage. I don’t believe in it. Any more than any Christian would believe in Buddhism. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t respect it. Nor does it mean I should deny it to anyone else who does. “All men are created equal.” Black/white, gay/straight. The Constitution doesn’t discriminate. It did, and we changed it. It has always been designed to protect the rights of its citizens. And when it doesn’t, we should work to correct it. We included black slaves, women voters. I’m not saying we should add gay marriage to the Constitution. I’m just saying that it already protects ANY marriage of ANY citizen to another citizen, plain as day. It is not illegal or unconstitutional to be gay in the US. I’m still amazed that we still have laws regulating the kind of sex we can have. I mean, sodomy isn’t for everyone, but should it be banned? If we’re going to make butt-fucking illegal, then let’s just toss out the tax code under the same premise.
If we are going to hold up Marriage as a sacred institution, shouldn’t we be held accountable for that higher bar? Considering the divorce rate and infidelity? Legalizing gay marriage isn’t going to ruin the American institution. We straights did that a very long time ago. All we’re doing is allowing the gays to suffer the same hellish divorce proceedings we have already proven as a sadistic art form. We should legalize the prenuptial agreement as a required document for a marriage license. Force people to really think about what their marriage means, define their roles, responsibilities, and consequences. I mean, how can we expect to determine the success of an agreement if we’re pretty vague about what that agreement is? Terms and conditions of a contract.
So yeah, we should legitimize same-sex marriage. Not because they’re gay, but because they’re citizens of the United States, protected under equal rights under the Constitution that drives the laws of the land. Not allowing a gay to have a marriage license is no different than allowing a Negro to have a driver’s license or a woman to have a voter registration card. A woman can vote, not because she’s a woman, but because she’s a Constitutionally-protected citizen.
I mean geez, think of all the open bar receptions I’m missing out on.