I am proud of my friends and family who have survived their own painful violent traumas, and have learned to grow from it. And I am forever hopeful for those who are still trying, still struggling, still weathering the inner-ferocity.
I won’t mention names, because your business is your business. But if you know what I’m talking about, then yeah, I’m talking about you, to you.
The reality is that most people do not grow from their trauma. Hurt people hurt people. Societally-speaking, most people hurt people. Most of us drown in our anger, devoured by our fears, even if we manage to somehow bottle it up and try to keep it beneath the surface. Very, very few find the path towards healing. Even fewer can stay on that path long enough to heal.
Let’s not lie, we know where we are on that scale. If you’re hurting people, you’re still hurt. If you are healing people, or trying to, you’re trying to climb out of the well. Healing others, helping others, is our way of climbing towards the light and away from the darkness. But we are never completely out of the well once we fall in. That darkness is always there, no matter how much we climb. It just gets easier as we keep reaching for the light.
Until we know hope, sharing our pain, our trauma, is the only expression we genuinely know. We don’t have to find reasons to hate or fear, we don’t need excuses. We just radiate the energy that fuels us. It’s what we know, it’s what makes us normal to ourselves.
And yet, I look at my friends’ list, and I’m simply amazed at all your success stories. You have suffered so much, lost so much, carried so much anguish, distraught, frustration, and rage, for so long. And yet here you are, walking the path. Some of you are farther along that path than others. Farther along than me. Celebrate that shit. Seriously.
I also encourage you, in your own way, in your own time, so share your journey. Just like I’m trying to do, in my own way, in my own time. I share, sometimes TMI, because I hope that someone else can identify and find hope in. Because I remember what it was like to not have hope. Whatever hope you do have, share it.
I don’t care if you think you’re crossing the finish line, or if you are so far back, you don’t even know if you are headed in the right direction. As long as you’re trying, I’m very proud of you. I don’t care how many times you think/know you failed, as long as you’re still trying. The healing is in the trying, long before you find it in the succeeding.
Be the hope, not the hurt.